i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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