We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize