i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
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So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
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when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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