I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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