The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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