I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize