can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
