and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize