i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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