woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
