If i come over, it means nothing
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
