Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize