Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
