how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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