the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Who died my cat blue again?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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