no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
