He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize