I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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