Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this just has baby written all over it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
