He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
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Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?