then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize