did you get engaged???
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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