wake up i wanna do it froggy style
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i drank out of a bidet.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
