I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
