I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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