Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize