His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
