biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
