Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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