Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
