It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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