the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
