We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
