the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
