Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
