She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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