Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
