I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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