my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
