i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
