Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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