Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
