If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
