also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
