So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
