like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
