Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
