whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
