Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
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Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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