I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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