everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
