would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize