he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
