you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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