Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
