It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
