HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
