whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
