did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
