these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
