There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize